Labs for the Little Guys...

Kenny and I took both little guys to the hospital to have labs drawn this morning.  Jacob needed the 18 month well child labs, and Ethan needed blood drawn to be sent out for his genetic testing.  I decided that I should call the hospital before heading out to make sure that they could ship Ethan's blood to the Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas.  The phone call was a disaster and I may have gotten a little worked up.  And Kenny may have had to listen to me rant and rave about incompetent lab employees.  And I may have over reacted (a little).  I called the lab and explained Ethan's testing to be sure that they were a proper send out lab.  I was then transferred to someone else, to whom I explained the whole thing over again.  This person seemed somewhat confused and transferred me to another employee who needed yet another explanation.  I assumed the third employee was the person overseeing the lab, but after speaking with her, I hope that she's not.  Here is a snippet of our conversation:

Lab:  Do you have the packaging materials to ship it out?

Me:  (Confused because I thought that the lab would ship it out for me)  No.

Lab:  You don't have any packaging?

Me:  No.  Where would I even get something like that?

Lab:  The doctor who wrote the orders should have given it to you.

Me:  I only have the order and a shipping label with the address for Baylor University on it.

Lab:  Do you have directions on how to draw the labs?

Me:  (I am really getting confused as to what she is asking me now.  Do they not know how to draw labs at the lab?)  What do you mean?  It is a blood draw. 

Lab:  Yeah, but is it supposed to be spun down or frozen, or what?

Me:  I don't know.  (Why would I???)

Lab:  You're going to have to call the doctor and get the instructions for drawing the labs.  Do you have a billing code for them?

Me:  (Once again)  I don't know what you're asking.

Lab:  The code for billing UPS or Fed Ex.  We are not paying for the shipping, so you need to call the doctor's office and ask about whether they bill UPS or Fed Ex and then ask them for their code.  You need to bring packaging materials, instructions for drawing the labs, and the shipping code.

Me:  I was thinking...  ARE....YOU....KIDDING.....ME????

Needless to say, I was irritated beyond words!  They are a lab and they don't know how to draw the labs?  They would trust a person off of the street, whom they have never met to correctly relay instructions for drawing labs?  Are you kidding me?  They can't pick up the phone and call the doctor's office directly to get instructions faxed to them to ensure that they draw them correctly?  Are you kidding me?  They can't package the labs and send them out for me?  They expect me to safely package and send the lab work myself?  Why don't they just hand me a syringe and vial and have me draw the labs myself?  Honestly, people!  Are you kidding me?  You might be thinking, Enough already, Hope!  But let me assure you, Kenny heard a whole lot more of my ranting.  Poor guy.

I may have been worked up because this is the same hospital lab that I had a horrible experience with when I had Ethan.   The morning I had Ethan, I told the lab tech that I was horribly afraid of needles and that techs usually refer to me as a "hard stick".  She continued to poke, and prod, and dig around for a few minutes until she decided that I was, in fact, a hard stick.  For a minute, I thought she was practicing how to carve a Thanksgiving  turkey!  She said that she couldn't get it and would go get the "master".  The other tech came in and thankfully got it on the first stick!  However, about 20 minutes later, she returned and said that I was going to kill her.  My blood clotted before they got it to the lab, so she was going to have to draw it again.   I wasn't thrilled, but stuck my arm out to be stabbed again.  The tech proceeded to clean up her mess and then turned to me and asked where the vial of blood was.  I told her that I didn't know and looked all over the bed and bedside table for it.  It was nowhere!  A couple minutes later, she said, "Oh, I accidentally threw it away in the sharps container and I can't get it out.  I will have to draw it again."  I obliged, but was really about to hurt someone by this time!

So, anyhoo, we ended up taking the kids to another hospital, and everything worked out great!  There was a little bit of crying, but that is to be expected.  They both got their blankies and sippies afterward, along with two stickers apiece! 
Ethan is milking his boo-boo for all it's worth!  When we got home, he said, in the most pitiful little voice, that he couldn't unbuckle because of his boo-boo.  He also said that he couldn't get his blanket for the same reason.  What a character!  Well, I am glad that the lab work is done, and now all we have to do is wait for the results!

P.S.  If you think this was a long, rambling post...just be thankful you weren't Kenny this morning!